Ten manageable conditions/diseases that might make an otherwise loving African man abuse or even kill his wife or lover

When a man abuses his partner its not just sick, he might be literally sick and in need of medical attention.

Many relationships in Africa reach a point of no return due to domestic violence and abuse. An otherwise loving man suddenly changes in behavior and becomes violent forcing the woman to flee from the relationship. In some instances the violence ends in death of one or both partners (e.g 'passion killings') .

In some cultures women are encouraged to bear the abuse in silence hoping that it will end at some point and their once charming man will spontaneously return to normal.

It recently occurred to me that violent or abusive behavior could simply be a symptom of various manageable diseases or conditions. I set out to compile a list of some common conditions that could cause even well meaning men to become violent. All these conditions are manageable.


Ten manageable conditions/diseases that might make an otherwise loving African man abuse or even kill his wife or lover

Depression
Anxiety
Diabetes
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
Bipolar Disorder
Schizophrenia
Low self-esteem



Once an abusive incident has occurred, acknowledge that it was a bad thing and then find a way to get the perpetrator to seek medical attention.Get the relevant medical practitioners to take an extensive history that can help them decide which of the above conditions caused the violence and then devise a suitable treatment plan. Some medical practitioners may be too lazy to help, urge the perpetrator to be very persistent until they get help.


In the minds of many Africans, African men are a symbol of staunch rationality. It is hard to fathom that they can sometimes suffer from conditions that can slightly impair their rationality. Violence and abuse are bad. However in some instances they do not mean the man is a cruel unloving person, they just mean he is a human being with a condition that sometimes affects his rationality and he needs professional help to get better.

Many of the above conditions can be managed by medication and psychotherapy.We often wrongly believe that psychotherapy is for westerners. However, given the high level of domestic abuse, many African men might need to get themselves a personal psychiatrist and/or psychologist in order to show their love to their partners. Relatives can counsel a man who is abusing his wife or lover but they are not professionals and they cannot provide medications for mental conditions that cannot be healed by psychotherapy alone like anxiety and depression.

Do not wait until it is too late to get help for the man or walk out from an otherwise perfect relationship without looking into the above conditions which are manageable.Educate yourself and your loved ones about all these conditions because the information might help you save a relationship or even a life in the future.